So after reading Craig Groeschel's latest book, I've decided that I need to work on forgiving a few people... I know that it isn't going to be easy but I know that My God is big enough to help me do it! I've held onto anger for the things that some of these people did to me and my family for several years but I know that in order to be the person that God wants me to be, I have to forgive. I'm not going to say that I can forgive them over night but I am working on it. After all of these years I still get furious just thinking of these people... Honestly, I'm not sure if I ran into them today, I'd be able to hold myself back from just really "letting them have it," I pray that if I did run into them God would intervene because I have a feeling it wouldn't be very pretty if he didn't. When I first started praying for help with forgiving, I found myself saying to God, "Ok, so I think I really can forgive this person, this person, this person, but NOT that person, so God if we can just work on these few and don't make me forgive "that" person, then we'll be good!" I'm sure God probably laughed when he heard me say it. Obviously, if I'm going to ask for help with forgiving, I can't pick and choose who I forgive and who I don't. It's amazing the people you find that you are holding grudges towards when you start praying for help with forgiving, people that I haven't even thought about in years, they've been brought to mind, I guess I have to forgive them too! :) Slowly I am trying to forgive them all, even though honestly I don't want to. But in reality, it's only hurting me by not forgiving... do I think they even know that I am still mad at them, let alone care? It's doubtful. But despite them knowing or not, it's something I have to do.
For all of you that really know me, you know I'm not the "Holier Than Thou," throw Jesus in your face kind of girl! You know that I'm not much of a fan of the traditional "Baptist Church" like the ones I was raised in but I am finding that God has more to reveal to me than just what I "think/want" him to do and I don't have to go to the traditional "Baptist Church" to enjoy going to church to seek him. I like LifeChurch because I don't feel like they are judging me every time I walk through the door, and it's only an hour (not that I couldn't give God more than an hour in church) but I really like being able to get in, praise Him and then be able to leave without hearing a 30 minute spill about how I should give more money because that's what God "wants" me to do. Did I mention I'm trying to forgive people? ha! Anyways, God is revealing new things to me daily!
I hope you will continue to pray that God shows me what he wants me to do! Thanks for reading, have a fantastic day!